And the Award goes to...

Definitely NOT Twilight!

Man, where to start?
How about with Edward? Robert Pattinson is ugly. Edward is described as "less lanky, less bulky, with untidy, bronze-colored hair...more boyish than the others...chalky pale...very dark eyes...devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful." In fact, all of the Cullens were described as "devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful," yet none were. I'll say it again, Robert Pattinson is ugly.
So, who was my Edward?

Gaspard Ulliel

He is gorgeous. Maybe this picture doesn't best represent his Vampirishness..but he's beautiful.

OTHER PROBLEMS:

I have a whole list. Actually, I have a whole 498 page book annotated with problems, but I'll just highlight my major problems. (I apologize now, as this will probably get extremely boring unless you're psychotically passionate about Book-to-Movie translations like I am...and you love Twilight.)

1.Billy and Jacob WERE NOT supposed to be there when Bella got her truck. It was already at Charlie's house when they got home from the airport.
2.Bella's bedroom was entirely wrong. How hard is it to put up yellow curtains instead of blue and add a computer? Does that really add to the film budge that much???
3.Eric was Asian? Whatever, he was supposed to be all greasy and pimply...movie Eric was cute.
4. Rosalie was not model-esque as she was supposed to be. She looked cheap.
5. Emmet was supposed to have dark, curly hair...he had a buzz cut?
5. Many, many conversations were held between the wrong people.
6. Too many details were left out...

*sidenote* I know it was a movie so they'd have to shorten it, and leave out parts. However, they left out parts I thought were extremely important to the storyline. For instance, they NEVER explained the title "Twilight"and what it meant, you also learned next to nothing about the Cullens. Not enough times was spent developing Edward and Bella's relationship. Over 3/4 of the book was spent just developing their relationship, but the movie didn't do much. I left not caring at all about them...

7. The face Edward made in the Biology room?! He looked like he was going to vomit, like she smelled disgusting not delicious...I know in the book it says he looks disgusted, but come on. LEARN HOW TO ACT!
8. Bella and Charlie ate at a diner every single night...Bella is supposed to cook for him and "take care" of him.
9. Bella and her mother, Renee communicated via Cellphone. Here mom is supposed to be very forgetful, and they are supposed to communicate mainly through emails, but Bella didn't even have a computer in the movie!
10.In the books, Charlie is supposed to be oblivious to the Cullen's "truth", he's heard rumors but doesn't believe them. In the movie he was very suspicious, and believed there was somthing other than an animal killing people.
11. In the movie, there were 2 more killings than in the book...James, Victoria, and Laurent killed a millworker, and Charlies friend Wayland, which never happened in the book.
12. Many conversations were combined and/or took place in the wrong time/place.
13. In the book, Edward is sarcastic, lighthearted and laughs, makes fun of Bella etc. (unless she's in danger of course) in the movie he was always serious. Too serious. Soap Opera Serious. He was supposed to laugh, smile, joke, sing, etc. He always looked constipated.
14. Bella didn't bump her head when she almost got hit by Tyler's car...she was supposed to...
15. There was some random made up field trip...
16. There was supposed to be a period of time, about a month, where Bella and Edward didn't talk. There was no time in between in the movie.
17. In the book, Bella frequently got very frusterated at Edward and exploded on him..she never did that in the movie. She was too static.
18. One of my favorite scenes, where they were blood-typing in biology, never occured.
19. In LaPush, in the book, Jacob directly told Bella that Edward was a vampire, in the movie Jacob was more vague.
20. In the book, Jacob and Bella did not remember each other, in the movie they were "old buds."
21. Edward never "dazzled" anyone...especially Bella. It never even came up.
22. Edwards "gift" wasn't super obvious, and never annoyed Bella like it did in the book.
23. In the book, Edward is really bothered by how much Bella likes him. He wishes she'd just lose interest. In the movie, he didn't seem to care too much.
24. Jacob was almost nonexistant in the movie, he appears off an on in the book.
25. Edward and Bella were never apart in the movie, in the book they were apart when he needed to hunt and such, and it was devastating to them both.
26. What happened to the beautiful field where Edward showed off and they tested their limits?
27. In the movie, Edwards disappearance after the biology incident went unexplained.
28. The Cullen house was completely wrong in the movie. It was very modern and wood, it was supposed to be a big, old, white, rectangular house.
29. The movie made the Vampires look stupid.
30. The "matriculation" joke, should have been a huge wooden cross.
31. In the book, Edward growled and play attacked Bella after she said he didn't scare her...in the movie he climbed trees after her statement.

Uggh. There's so much more. So much.




On a completely different note, as of recent events, I feel it's important to say:

I love you, sister.